Like Fingernails on a Chalkboard

"They" say, It takes all kinds to make a world... some days I wonder, Why?!

I worked in radio for twenty-one years. Just a few years shy of a "gold-watch" retirement. All of the years were in the Country format. I could have picked Rock. I grew up on Rock. I was more comfortable in the Country format. The Country rule was, if you wouldn't say it to Grandma, don't say it on the air.

I enjoyed my years in the Country format. I had a lot of fun and met a lot of the big name "A-List" performers. I got my picture taken with Shania Twain twice. I was herded through the meet-n-greet line like cattle and I did say "moo", but still...

When I started the last few years of my radio career, I worked with a morning host who did an on-air bit about "Movie Stars You Can't Stand!" Pretty self-explanatory. What movie star is like fingernails on a chalkboard? You can't watch a movie he or she is in?

His pick was Andrew McCarthy. Could. Not. Stand. Him. Not a fan of Weekend at Bernie's, or pretty much anything else he starred in. Funny, because my wife is a fan. She loves Pretty in Pink and The Joy Luck Club. Now, Weekend at Bernie's is not Young Frankenstein or Blazing Saddles, but it does have its moments. It presents a situation pretty clearly and then continues on with one thing after another. It's screwball comedy. If I had to pick between the two, I would probably take Jason Silverman as more annoying than Andrew McCarthy. However, I've seen Jason Silverman in Stealing Home, Friends and his short-lived sitcom... whatever it was called. I think they are both awkwardly funny. Genuine, but awkward. Your mileage may vary.

My personal pick would be Giovanni Ribisi. I just saw him in Avatar: Fire and Ash. He's back. Every corporate or military character in the Avatar films is just blatantly d**k-headed. They are written as the worst kind of human beings. Their only purpose is to strip the planet of resources for Earth. Unobtanium. Whaling for the liquid or blood of the indigenous species. It's like Dances With Wolves in space.

But it doesn't stop there. Ribisi plays Phoebe's younger brother on Friends. The storyline there is that he falls in love and marries his teacher and then Phoebe becomes surrogate mother to their triplets. The sitcom takes a real-life issue and turns it into farce. Your mileage on that may vary, however, Ribisi just comes off as an incredibly annoying character.

Don't even get me started on his role as Nicholas Cage's younger brother in the remake of Gone in 60 Seconds. I like Christopher Eccleston and just about everyone else in the cast - except Ribisi.

Another pick would be Seth Rogan. I've tried to enjoy him in Pineapple Express... but he's just horrid in Fanboys and The Green Hornet. He was supposed to be horrible in Fanboys. He played two characters, a diehard Star Trek fan and some other character. He was obnoxious as both. That was the point. However, his take on Britt Reid was to play him like a male version of Paris Hilton. A party-boy, who experiences an awakening and becomes a caring and sincere hero as the underworld figure The Green Hornet. If the movie's failure is any indication, that just didn't work. Fan-casting the role, I would have gone with Greg Kinnear as Britt Reid. He more embodies the Van Williams vibe for the role. Yes, he was an arrogant jerk in Mystery Men, but he was convincing as an arrogant jerk. 

Those are my picks. Is there a performer that is just fingernails on a chalkboard for you?

Keep it clean and civil. Grandma may be listening...

Don't forget, you can visit me or follow me over on ComicVine as AirDave, and follow me on Facebook as Earth-Dave.

The Roddenberry Utopian Vision

There seems to be some "hue and cry" over the cancellation of Starfleet Academy. Opinions drawn over characters like Holly Hunter's among others. With fans going back and forth. There are fans saying that cancellation will make the show more popular, and other fans going back to Gene Roddenberry's "original vision" for Star Trek...

I laugh. I laugh at the "superior intellect".

Gene Roddenberry did envision a perfect, utopian future... without conflict. Which made telling Star Trek stories challenging. How do you tell a Star Trek story where everybody gets along? There has to be some conflict. There has to be some pro-versus-con (or Khan), some good-versus-evil. Some challenge.

Roddenberry's vision of the future? What actually hit the screen?

In "The Cage", Majel Barrett is first officer. That's forward thinking. There's Spock. An alien. Subordinate to Pike and possibly "Number One". It wasn't until the late '80's and into the '90's that a woman was a starship captain. It wasn't until Star Trek: Discovery that an alien was a starship captain.

When Shatner was cast and Star Trek finally launched as a series, we still see that 300 years in the future we're still objectifying women. Men wear pants. The female crew members wear skirts that barely cover their bottoms.

Aliens are either evil or dumb. Or, if they're "Vulcanian", they're arrogant jerks.

We're still yelling and pontificating in the future. There's still hate and avarice.

The point of each episode is to face that darkness we try to hide and learn and grow from it.

As progressive and forward thinking as Roddenberry was, what ended up on screen was a future that was very much a product of the times. More of a pop culture commentary of the '60's.

What's enjoyable about Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country is the dialogue that skewers the utopian vision.

The real premise of Star Trek is that even in the future, humans are still pretty much the same. It's only the technology that changes.

But that's just my two cents worth...

By all means share your thoughts in the comments. Keep it civil. Don't say anything in the comments you wouldn't say to your mother or your grandmother. Remember you can always find me on ComicVine as AirDave and on Facebook at Earth-Dave.

The Colbert Kimmel Kerfuffle

If I'm allowed to offer an opinion... yeah, I know, there are people who think opinions are like belly buttons, when they're actually something more stinky, dirty and full of - - * well, you know.

Stephen Colbert was quoted saying that the network changed the way it looked at The Late Show. There's back and forth over whether the network is cowering and cow-towing to Trump. That may be true. I think Letterman summed it up: The bottom line is the bottom line. Colbert and The Late Show are "overhead". Rule Numero Uno is: keep costs down, so money stays in the White-Collar pockets.

I liked The Colber' Repor'. I thought he and Jon Stewart were funny. I don't agree with the politics. I'm not sure I agree with Bill Maher, either. But the dialogue and the witty skewering of the news was funny.

I wondered how Stephen Colbert, best known for Political Commentary was going to transition to Entertainment Interviews. That's traditional late-night programming. Late-night programming is putting people to sleep by promoting the latest trend or fad. Riding the wave of popular culture. As a viewer, I gave Colbert a try, then life got in the way and I moved on.

I never stayed up late enough for Craig Ferguson, but in catching up on videos and reels, he seemed kind of hilarious by flipping the format and convention. Maybe, that's just me.

Kimmel is something else. He was funny. Past tense. He was funny with bits like Chewie in the audience while interviewing Harrison Ford and Tom Holland asking who Chris Pratt's favorite "Tom" was. My favorite was the faux-Friends skit he did with Jennifer Aniston and Courtney Cox. Three bits that've watched in reels or YouTube.

I think we might be able to agree that Kimmel changed his tone.

There's a surge in nostalgia for Johnny Carson. He was apparently a class act. Legend has it he never had a sitting president - or maybe even a politician in office - as a guest. He wasn't political. There's a clip circulating with Carson hosting the Oscars when Reagan was shot.

The upshot seems to be Carson didn't rage-bait at 10:30 or 11:30pm. He put people to sleep with a laugh. He entertained. As a host, he focused the spotlight on guests.

I'm not inviting a Trump-Biden debate. Go somewhere else for that. There's a difference between The Late Show, The Tonight Show and Kimmel Live! and The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert were part of a Political Commentary for Comedy. Traditional late night seems to be shifting over into that area and away from their original premise. I'd say they seem to be "Jumping the Shark". There are programs that cater to the political junkie audience. Traditional late night is more of a promotional platform. Which seems to be why there's nostalgia for the golden era of Carson.

My feeling on politics is this: all candidates lie or fudge the truth. At least the ones that get elected. It's hard to get elected if you're honest. We usually pick our party and candidates like our sports teams. But again, I'm not inviting a political debate, simply because it just boils down to MY team is better than YOUR team and YOU'RE both wrong and dumb if you don't agree with ME.

But that's just my stinky, dirty two cents.

This Evil Undying! Union Jack "Tradition" Review

Kenny Crichton's friendship with Joey Chapman is a strained relationship. So is his relationship with his mother, Lady Jaqueline Falsworth-Crichton. Kenny's sickly, anemic. Joey inherited the mantle that has been in the Falsworth family since World War I - Union Jack! Ken has neither the stamina or the strength to fight crime, evil or vampires like Joey. His mother is still spry in her golden years due to a wartime blood transfusion from Jim Hammond, The Original Human Torch. Yes, she had a blood transfusion from an android. She joined The Invaders as Spitfire! Ken is somewhat bitter toward his mother and somewhat distant to his friend Joey. The only true friend he had is the now late and lamented Christopher Sinclair. 

Ben Raab and John Cassaday introduce Union Jack to a new generation and audience in the first issue of a three-issue mini-series. Recapping the Union Jack legacy from war to war, Raab and Cassaday open "Tradition" with Chapman fighting bad guys... that are vampires. They are seemingly defeated by the dawn's early light. It's an action-packed opening that develops into a genuine mystery.

Afterward, he joins Kenny at Christopher's funeral. There, he discovers almost unnoticeable bite marks on Christopher's neck. There's also a mysterious woman showing interest in Ken.

There's another wrinkle. Arthurian legend regarding The Holy Grail. What would vampires have with the legendary cup of Christ, the Savior?

It's interesting that Union Jack has become a vampire hunter. He used to be a war hero.

Colorist Dave Stewart enhances Cassaday's art. Richard Starkings and Comicraft add the "zing!" to the lettering. Raab and Cassaday's pacing is very smooth.

Union Jack 1, "Tradition" earns four stars.

Hey, if you liked this review, you can follow me over on ComicVine. I'm there as AirDave. You can also follow me on Facebook. My page there is Earth-Dave. 

  
 

Friends: The Comic Book - - ?!?!

 

There is the sad urban legend that "death comes in threes". Actor Richard Roundtree, who played "Shaft", died October 24th at age 81. Richard Moll, "Bull" Shannon from Night Court, and the voice of Harvey Dent, alias Two-Face on Batman: The Animated Series, died October 26th at age 81. Saturday, October 28th, Matthew Perry, best known as the snarky, wise-cracking Chandler Bing on Friends, passed away after apparently drowning in his jacuzzi. He was 54.

Sadly, Perry's career was darkened by self-esteem issues and doubt. In his memoir, he admitted that his prayer was for fame. He was willing to do anything for it. He admitted during the MAX Friends reunion that he didn't think he was funny, and angsted over every laugh. I wonder sometimes if we were created to seek out fame. There are scriptures that say we should live our lives simply and humbly, away from any limelight or attention. Yet, in the course of all human history, we have drifted to narcissism. Friends was such a popular and successful show, and yet he never seemed to find any satisfaction in that. That's such a shame. I always thought he was the funniest character on the show.

Looking back over the decade long run of the series, I think I identified with Perry's character. He was more ordinary than Ross or Joey. The producers confessed that they considered pairing Monica with Joey, however, when you look at the episodes leading up to London, you can see the chemistry between Chandler and Monica. Through the flashbacks to Ross and Chandler's college days, the thread comes that Chandler followed Monica. He pursued her and was able to find an apartment across the hall from hers! I would argue that from episodes like The One Where Ben Is Born, where Chandler proposes having kids together with Monica, that they were destined to be a couple from the start, whether that was premeditated or not.

The producers have also said that other than the MAX UN-scripted reunion, there will never be a scripted reunion of Friends. That would not be right, it would be a cash-grab. While I accept that, I disagree. Even though the show left the characters in a different place, they're still friends. A reunion could celebrate Joey winning an Oscar for Best Actor. It could be for Ben's wedding. It could celebrate a milestone for Emma. It could also be for Jack Gellar's funeral.

"Jack Gellar, buried at sea. Huh."

Friends celebrate milestones. Some of the classic Friends episodes celebrated Thanksgiving.

There was an alternate reality episode where Chandler and Monica still connected. Chandler wrote for Archie Comics.

That's what I would LOVE to see! A Friends comic. Hey! - Welcome Back, Kotter got ten issues! Bless Mark Evanier, who wrote both the live action and the comic book series! I mean no disrespect at all - I just want to point out just how unlikely a comic book Welcome Back, Kotter was.

Friends was produced by Warner Bros. Television. Warner Bros. is the parent of DC Comics.

Okay, here's my pitch: After Freud!, Estelle gets Joey a gig for as Robin for an anniversary photo shoot promoting the DC Comics / Keebler / Nancy Reagan Drug Awareness Program. Ross and Chandler make fun of his costume. However, Joey is quite successful with the models standing in as "New" Teen Titans Raven, Starfire and Wonder Girl. He is embarrassed by the guy posing as archer Speedy, who stops a crime - like John Ritter in Hero at Large. Monica could be mistaken for Donna Troy, who is Wonder Girl. Phoebe could meet a guy who could be The Flash villain The Pied Piper. Ross could dust off his Science Boy script.

Hey, if Welcome Back, Kotter could get a comic book, so can Friends! Y'never know what's going to work, until you try it.

Good night, Chandler Bing. May you finally find peace.  

Captain America and The Invaders

I know this is just a little late, but Avengers: Endgame wrapped up a storyline from some twenty or so Marvel films across eleven years. It all started with 2008's Iron Man.

Marvel just announced the next phase of films. I'm excited for the Black Widow origin film and Taiki Waititi's sequel to Ragnarok, Thor: Love and Thunder. 

My wife, my friends and co-workers and I are all having a debate over the prospects of Love and Thunder. No one is excited about Natalie Portman's Jane Foster becoming worthy to wield Mjolnir. I stand on the fact that Ragnarok was the most successful film in the first Thor trilogy. I liked the first Thor film. My wife and I saw it for our anniversary. Kind of. The second Thor film was just okay, bordering on "Meh". I usually like Christopher Eccleston. But his character was a vague cipher bent on destroying ALL life. "Hey, there, Sparky... uh, what's next after you destroy ALL life in the universe?" Can't go to Disneyland. Why?! It's gone. See... You. Destroyed. Every. Thang. Waititi may have saved the franchise with Ragnarok. It may have felt silly and campy, with Chris Hemsworth channeling Adam West; it may have been a missed opportunity for Karl Urban's Executioner... Once again, the film put bodies in seats in the theater and made money. If he can do that again, and make Natalie Portman watchable... he will be my hero.

I'm excited for the Black Panther and Doctor Strange sequels, too. I'm not as into those characters as I am Iron Man, Captain America and The Hulk. Honestly, before the films, I thought Thor was pretty lame.

Yes, that's Thor. Played by the actor that went on to play Alan Hale, Jr./The Skipper in Surviving Gilligan's Island and then the dad on Good Luke, Charlie. The Return of The Incredible Hulk could probably have been better if it had featured the Ultimate Marvel version of Thor, like the films have gone with.

I'm glad Marvel and Sony have decided to share Tom Holland.

It looks like The X-Men and Fantastic Four will be part of Phase Five... maybe. I might get to see those films in my retirement years. Heh.

What I would really like to see, other than Robert Downy, Jr. back as Iron Man, is Chris Evans back as Captain America!

Remember that Easter egg in First Avenger, the pan shot of the World's Fair that showed the android? That's Jim Hammond, The Golden-Age Human Torch. I would love to see a fourth Captain America film, set during World War II, featuring his time leading Hammond; Namor, The Sub-Mariner, along with Bucky and Toro.

I would love to see Captain America and The Invaders! Yes, First Avenger told a complete story.

Captain America and The Invaders could tell another story. The Invaders was a '70's comic book written by the legendary Roy Thomas. Thomas had Churchill bring together Captain America, The Human Torch and The Sub-Mariner to defend England. They fought other Nazis besides The Red Skull. One of them was a traitorous vampire named Baron Blood! The trio also attracted colleagues such as Spitfire, The Whizzer and Union Jack. Yeah, Whizzer's kind of a goofy name for a WWII speedster. But The Flash and Quicksilver were already taken.

The only hiccup to this movie actually seeing the light of day is that Universal has the license for Namor, just like it has for The Hulk. There may be a way to include Namor, like The Avengers and Marvel films have included The Hulk - and Tom Holland's Spider-Man. Now that Marvel and Disney have access to the Fantastic Four, they may be able to use a Human Torch.

I'm a Golden-Age fan. I like The Invaders as much as I like the Justice Society; and, Roy Thomas' '80's All-Star Squadron.

A fan can dream! 

    

Crisis on Infinite Earths: Batman

Believe it or don't, there's only been ONE live action adult Batman/Bruce Wayne. His name was West. Adam West.

I grew up on Adam West Batman reruns. I took Mr. West's Batman seriously. It wasn't until recently that I read that the '66 Batman live action series was nominated for an Emmy in the SITCOM category!

Robert Wuhl and Michael Keaton are confirmed as cameos for the CW EVENT, Crisis on Infinite Earths adaptation. The cameos are more like Easter eggs.

Burt Ward, West's co-star, as Robin, the Boy Wonder is confirmed to appear in the CW's Crisis on Infinite Earths adaptation. He appears in an as yet, undisclosed role. Should be interesting to see what character he plays...

Nightwing? The Dark Knight Returns Batman? The Kingdom Come Batman?

There's word that the DC Universe streaming series Titans will be involved in the Crisis adaptation. So, there will be a Nightwing and a Robin appearing from that series...

That got me to thinking...

Lyle Waggoner and Peter Deyell were nearly cast as The Dynamic Duo. I could see Waggoner as either Earth-3's Owlman, or a live action '66 version of Harvey Dent. The late Harlan Ellison wrote a Batman '66 Two-Face script; and, legend has it that Clint Eastwood was considered for television reporter Harvey Dent.

Kevin Conroy is making the crossover from animation to live action as the Batman Beyond Bruce Wayne...

Diedrich Bader voiced Batman in Batman: The Brave and the Bold. Maybe he, and his his version of Batman could be included.

Rino Romano voiced Batman in The Batman animated series. The series was set in the third year of Bruce Wayne operating as The Dark Knight. The series lasted for five seasons, culminating in the formation of the Justice League.

I would love to see Mark Hamill as either The Joker or The Trickster!

Hey, they digitized Henry Cavill's mustache in Justice League. they could digitize Hamill's beard...